Roots of Resilience
Introduction
We all face change and uncertainty, inevitably navigating challenges and loss at some point in our lives. Our levels of resilience can profoundly affect our capacity to cope with adversity, and whether we are able to restore a sense of ease and balance.
Our experiences, memories, and relationships continually shape how we understand ourselves and the world around us, which has an impact on our personal narratives and stories. This, in turn, can influence our resilience and how we respond to challenging circumstances.
Through deepening our self-compassion, awareness of ourselves, and connections with others, we can feel more supported in creating a sense of belonging – one of the integral cornerstones of resilience.
Understanding Resilience
Resilience is the capacity to adapt and respond to challenging situations, while holding ambiguity and uncertainty. It is a dynamic, ongoing process that may fluctuate depending on our life experiences, relationships, environment, and cultural contexts. At different times, this capacity may feel near or far from reach, expanding or contracting in response to our changing circumstances.
This is something we are able to cultivate and strengthen throughout our lives, while finding ways to learn and grow when we are navigating change.
Even though it can be developed, our resilience is shaped by many factors – including our genetic predispositions, personality traits, our relationships with early caregivers, and the life stressors we are exposed to.
A personalised approach is essential in understanding how these influences uniquely affect our resilience and well-being. Research shows that when we cultivate resilience, we often develop a more optimistic outlook — noticing moments of gratitude or joy even in the midst of difficulty. With a resilient mindset, emotions such as anger, sadness, or fear are generally experienced as temporary, rather than enduring states that define us.
We are also more likely to approach challenges with a sense of curiosity, rather than withdrawing from them in avoidance. This curiosity can facilitate creative problem solving and learning, which reinforces our resilience.
To cultivate this, try approaching a difficult situation by asking: “What is the story I am telling myself right now, and what else could be true?” This question invites us to look more closely at how our stories shape resilience.
Narrative and Resilience
Our personal narratives and stories play a significant role in shaping resilience. The way we make sense of our experiences, and the stories we tell about our lives, can influence our ability to cope with adversity and navigate challenging experiences.
When we take time to reflect and pay mindful attention to our stories, we can deepen our understanding of ourselves and our place in the world. They live both in language and in the body — expressed through sensation, gesture, and emotional tone. In this way, we can meet our thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations with awareness as they arise, allowing them to be seen and held with acceptance and non-judgment.
By becoming more aware of our narratives and their impact on our lives, we can reframe our stories with insight and compassion, acknowledging the complexities of our experiences. Our personal stories can then become more intrinsically nuanced, enabling us to meet challenges with a greater sense of creativity and adaptability.
Research in neuroscience also shows that paying mindful attention to our stories and narratives can lead to the growth of new neural pathways, improving emotional regulation, memory, and learning. This supports us in cultivating resilience when we are facing adversity and change.
Tending to the Roots of Resilience
Resilience is a complex, ever-evolving process shaped by multiple factors across our lives. This is something we can cultivate with intention and practice, so that we are supported in adapting to our changing circumstances.
The following suggestions offer areas to consider:
Connecting and Belonging
Nurture meaningful relationships: It takes effort to cultivate and sustain relationships that are supportive and fulfilling. Consider the close relationships that bring you a sense of ease and belonging, and how you might foster deeper connections through regular communication, emotional connection, and shared activities – such as meeting for a walk or coffee. This can create a foundation of stability and safety that allows us to meet our circumstances with more resilience and buoyancy.
Create community: This may be something simple such as taking time to speak with a neighbour, joining events in your area, or going to your local park and coffee shop. By building these community networks and interacting regularly with people in your daily life, you can cultivate a deeper sense of security, grounding, and safety. As social beings, we are intrinsically wired for connection and have a fundamental need for belonging.
Mindful Movement and Self-Care
Stay connected to movement: There are a myriad of ways in which we can move with enjoyment, depending on our individual needs and physical capacities. Find forms of movement that feel enlivening or relaxing, such as walking in nature, stretching or dancing. Listen to what your body is needing, and aim for daily consistency. Regular movement has been shown to reduce stress and anxiety, improve mood, and increase our energy levels, which supports our capacity to cope with challenges.
Extend gratitude towards your body: Take time to appreciate your physical body, as it is in the present moment. We are sometimes caught in patterns of fear-based reactions to discomfort and limitation, or focused on areas of improvement. Consider brief pauses throughout your day to take a few deep breaths and appreciate your body’s functions, while also acknowledging the ways in which nutritious food and restorative rest support your well-being. Through expressing warmth and gratitude towards ourselves, we can cultivate a sense of relaxation and self-acceptance that deepens resilience.
Reflection and Compassion
Offer yourself encouragement: Speaking with kind and affirming words can bring a sense of encouragement and uplift for your accomplishments. By saying “well done” when you achieve something – even small daily tasks such as preparing a meal, tidying your home, or exercising – you can gently shift away from default patterns of self-criticism. Building new habits supports a growth mindset that can help us develop more confidence in our capacities when we are faced with challenges or setbacks.
Reflect on your stories with mindful attention: Through reflecting on our life's experiences with curiosity, we can gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and how we have overcome previous challenges. Mindful attention is the practice of paying attention to our thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations in the present moment, without judgment or criticism. Consider writing down a challenging experience and approaching it with kindness and self-compassion. This can support us in deepening self-awareness, and reshaping our personal narrative for greater resilience.
Connect with joy-filled activities: It requires energy and focus to meet our daily tasks and commitments. By deliberately carving out time for creative activities, such as drawing, music, or ceramics, we expand our capacity for relaxation and joy. This can offer a buffer to stressful conditions and support our overall well-being. By incorporating novelty and diversity with new activities, we can also remain flexible and adaptable, which can be helpful for cultivating a resilient approach.
Relax into being: We can often live in a goal-orientated state, where we are applying ourselves by doing. To cultivate resilience, it is also necessary to give ourselves the space to practice being. This involves relaxing into the present moment, letting go of an agenda or the need to achieve anything. Through taking time to simply unwind, amble in nature, or gaze at the horizon – whatever brings us a sense of ease – we nurture this state of being, and strengthen our resilience.
A Deeper Root: Resilience and Trauma
It is also vital to acknowledge the impact of trauma on our resilience, as experiences of chronic stress or overwhelming events can profoundly affect our capacity to adapt. Recognising how these experiences live within us, shaped by our early environments and histories, is an important step in seeking support and cultivating resilience with patience and care. This often calls for a thoughtful and embodied approach. Practices such as trauma-informed yoga, slow, deep breathing or psychotherapy can gently help the nervous system find steadier rhythms of regulation and gradually build resilience.
Conclusion
Resilience is a quality and skill influenced by a multitude of factors throughout our lives. These interweave in unique and complex ways, shaping how we respond and adapt to challenge. By tending to the roots of resilience – through creating meaningful relationships, practising self-compassion, and deepening our understanding of ourselves – we can support this dynamic, ongoing process and foster our overall sense of well-being.